‘That’s a fucking large crow,’ or some Juntian exclamation along those lines, are not the greatest last words that a man could hope for. It was better than a heart attack on the shitter, or the phrase ‘what bus?’, but not by much.&...
2025-08-25 20:18:05 +0000 UTC View Post“I’d like to take a look around if that’s ok?” I asked Luckdire as we left Grahidin to deal with his pets.
“Are you considering enrolling?” he asked as he led me out of the guesthouse and back into the psychedelic grounds. &...
2025-08-25 20:07:24 +0000 UTC View PostThe kid did the talking, backed by heavy-set galley slaves. I watched via Glimpse as an argument ensued. I got the feeling the pirates were changing the deal, and the kid was doing his timid best to insist on payment. Silly boy, ...
2025-08-22 19:38:17 +0000 UTC View PostHaving established that Phillpot was once again trying to screw me over, despite Nyal apparently screaming in his mind and threatening unimaginable astral punishments the next time he slept as he did so, I was now cheerfully expecting five million...
2025-08-22 19:23:22 +0000 UTC View Post“Ah, that’s ok.” I’d already seen what he had to offer when he Sharon Stone-d me the first time I was here.
“Oh, come now.” He rose and turned his back, something I was extremely grateful for, before shucking his kimono, &n...
2025-08-21 19:28:32 +0000 UTC View PostA foot bounced off my head, and I snatched it up in my right hand. A swift yank not only helped pull me to my feet but also threw the man onto his back. Pelip screamed and cursed me in a language I didn’t understand as I squeezed unt...
2025-08-20 19:03:34 +0000 UTC View PostMrs. Sanderson was sitting at a desk almost as impressive as Dalgliesh’s. She had two trays, one on each side of her. Paperwork appeared in one with a pinging noise. It was then picked up, read, and amended with her blurring qu...
2025-08-20 18:51:10 +0000 UTC View Post“Mr. B, I hope you have an explanation for this!” snapped a feminine voice from behind me. As I spun, dropping into the combat stance known as Using-A-French-Toilet-With-Wrath, feet spread and knees bent at almost ninety degrees, I took ...
2025-08-19 20:38:47 +0000 UTC View Post“My lord?” Jariu’s voice came from the other side of the door. I glanced around the small room and dragged myself back to my feet. I was knackered. I’d been up late. After Gawlo had come round and confirmed the effi...
2025-08-18 20:41:26 +0000 UTC View Post“No thanks.”
“I didn’t even tell you what it would be! I’m looking for some people to form a new–” I began.
“Don’t care.” Lockso took a suspicious sip of his drink, then grunted in what I assumed was app...
2025-08-18 20:17:47 +0000 UTC View PostNear the bar was a table with a small sign on it that said ‘reserved’. That was my little corner of solitude. While it had four of the comfy new chairs placed around the circular drinking platform, only one of them had the impressi...
2025-08-15 20:10:15 +0000 UTC View Post“Bob, what have you done?” Kat snapped at me, straightening her low-cut, lacy apron. “Angelic Wings shouldn’t have led to a divine roll. Have you been sending the system feet pics or something?”
“The system is an assh...
2025-08-14 17:38:46 +0000 UTC View Post“If that’s what you’re looking for, then you would be best to try one of the dockside taverns. The Gilded Vessel is as good a place as any.”
I stood outside the tavern with a sceptical expression on my face. It was ...
2025-08-13 19:06:10 +0000 UTC View PostI ducked to one side and shot out a fist to punch the monster back against the wall. Rising-Nut-Cracker did exactly what it said on the tin and caught the beast at the juncture of lower limbs and torso in a way that would make any man weep to see....
2025-08-13 18:52:28 +0000 UTC View Post“They’ll still be broken a bit longer. Hee hee!”
I sighed. The sun was setting, and I still had shit to do today. The oranges and reds in the sky were reflected in the gleaming steel arrayed against me.
“Sarge, I wa...
2025-08-12 19:26:09 +0000 UTC View PostLevel 200
Primary Stats: Body: SSS Mind: A Soul: A
Available Souls: 50438
Secondary Stats
“Maybe we should talk about this?” White-Horses-Roll-Ashore threw my body to the side as I dodged the knight's attack and flowed into Hits-A-Home-Run to use three tails as a club and launch him away, sending him crashing into the leadership of...
2025-08-11 19:31:06 +0000 UTC View PostJust as a little thank you to everyone who has given me their support on here, I've got a few chapters of audio narrated by my old man. He's a busy dude, so I can't promise a regular schedule or how much of the book will get done in this format, ...
2025-08-09 17:25:13 +0000 UTC View PostI pulled one end of my portal pair in front of me, and eight cyber-bunnies spilled out and went to town on the army in a non-lethal fashion. I could feel their vicious minds chafing at the limitations I was enforcing, and they were doing the...
2025-08-08 18:14:43 +0000 UTC View Post“Bob’s a good egg. He's a bit rough around the edges, but he’s been invaluable around town! Who the hells are you to question him, stranger?” Mrs. Hatrik snapped. In the end, I never found her missing pussy, but she...
2025-08-07 20:07:20 +0000 UTC View PostI let Jenny, Esme, and Benton head back to the Cod through the portal, then I moved it to where I’d left my bunnie army guarding the shit behind the bank. I stepped through and reached out through the crystal to summon a standard one as we...
2025-08-06 20:22:23 +0000 UTC View PostFollowing a pleasant and relaxing time, that’s all you’re going to get about what happened on that grassy knoll. We headed back to Mount Bob. At least we didn’t assassinate a president from it, although we might have conceived one.
... 2025-08-05 20:06:34 +0000 UTC View Post“You want to know what it looks like?” I asked cautiously.
“Yeah, you know, is it all lumpy, dark, and misshapen, or is it nice and clean?” Esme asked with a twinkle in her eyes.
“Esme, dearest, what exactly ar...
2025-08-04 20:34:18 +0000 UTC View PostI pecked Esme on the cheek from where she was guarding the bar as I passed her, earning a cheeky giggle that converted into a squawk as my robo-rabbits filed through into the bar behind me.
“Bob, what the hell! Where did you come fro...
2025-08-01 20:10:56 +0000 UTC View Post“That costs like two hundred gold!” I snapped, and Reginald backed away. Happily, he was now wearing simple red robes embroidered with blue and gold stars and arcane sigils. It was as though he was trying to live the stereotype of ...
2025-07-31 18:27:21 +0000 UTC View Post“You’se gotta marry my sister. She’s pretty; you’ll like her,” Geeku offered as we made our way back into the camp. Word had spread fast, almost magically so.
“Chief!” called an Orlic almost as large as Geeku as he ...
2025-07-30 20:34:01 +0000 UTC View Post“You gotta let me win, but make it look close,” Geeku muttered to me as he waved his hands over his head and worked the crowd, who were still chanting about arboreal challenges. “I’ll move da mob east, but if I lose, we have to fight...
2025-07-29 18:48:44 +0000 UTC View Post“OK, that isn’t going to work for me either, Klop.” His latest idea once again involved me letting him go and waiting outside the Orlic camp for Geeku to come and say hi. “What if I looked like a human?” I offered.
“O...
2025-07-28 19:22:12 +0000 UTC View Post“Well, you can’t eat those.”
“Very helpful, oh, wise guide. I don’t have a huge amount of biomass stashed. Or I won’t after I evolve again. I need to hunt.” I rose from my pile of shinies and shook mysel...
2025-07-25 18:11:01 +0000 UTC View PostI need to buy some sunglasses. My fists clenched at the thought. Why the hell should I part with some of my hoard to appease these mammals? I fought back the draconic parts of my mind and struggled for calm. Glanci...
2025-07-24 17:43:19 +0000 UTC View Post