Bitter Karella

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Big news! My psychedelic queer gorefest horror debut MOONFLOW comes out this fall... But through Friday 2/7, when yo...

Midnight Pals: No Politics

Damien Leone: hey so some of you might have heard that art the clown hates trump
King:
Barker:
Koontz:
Poe:
Lovecraft:

Leone: now i just want to address this rumor
Barker: ya know you really don't need to
Leone: no i thi...

Midnight Pals: Terrifier

Damien Leone: Submitted for the approval of the midnight society, i call this the tale of the evil clown
King: oh, is it a demon that appear as a clown to scare children?
Leone: what? no
Leone: it's just a regular clown
Barker: what, l...

Midnight Pals: All the Diseases

Wrath James White: submitted for the approval of the midnight society, i call this the tale of the bug collector
Jones: it's about a guy who's sexually excited by getting diseases
Michael J. Seidlinger: nice

Barker: sexually excited by...

Midnight Pals: Muskworld

Stephen King: submitted for the approval of the
Elon Musk: [rising out of bushes] eyyy stephano king
King: oh great it's elon
Musk: uh uh uh stephano king maybe you no heara da news
Musk: now it's mista signore el supremo his excellenc...

Midnight Pals: Corn

Tom Tryon: submitted for the approval of the midnight society, i call this the tale of harvest home
Tryon: gentlemen, behold!
Tryon: CORN!
King: oh i don't know about this
King: i already wrote a corn based folk horror story
Tryon: ...

Midnight Pals: Inklings

Charles Williams: i love to do Christian magic
Aleister Crowley: ugh! this sucks
Crowley: why don't you go hang out and be Christian with your inkling pals!
Williams: fine! i will!

Williams: hey guys you know what really rules?
C...

Midnight Pals: Butt Toucher

Edward Lee: bro
Lee: you spank chicks?
Charles Williams: oh yes, quite
Lee: bro
Lee: like
Lee: you touch their butts?
Williams: yes
Lee: bro
Lee: that's sick bro
Lee: you gotta show me how you do that bro

Lee: wait...

Midnight Pals: White Mage

Charles Williams: Submitted for the approval of the midnight pals, I call this the tale of the devil and the lady
Williams: it's about a woman who gets impregnated by the devil to birth the antichrist
Ira Levin: hey wait a minute

Willi...

Midnight Pals: Sorry if i scared you

Mae Murray: Submitted for the approval of the midnight society, i all this the tale of the girl who gets possessed by her sentient abortion
Murray: but don't worry, this abortion just wants to have fun
Murray: abortions just wanna
Murray:...

Midnight Pals: Factory Fun

Thomas Ligotti: i hope you've all had fun with these jovial tales of jolly clowns, puppets and festivals
King: and how!
Ligotti: but now it's time to turn our attention to more adult matters
Ligotti: to the world of work
King: oh

Midnight Pals: Nosferatu

Robert Eggers: submitted for the approval of the midnight society, i call this the tale of the nosferatu
Barker: oh we've heard this one before
Eggers: not the way i tell it!
Barker: has it got farting in it?
Eggers: n-no!
Eggers: i...

Midnight Pals: The white powder that makes you into a goo

Arthur Machen: Submitted for the approval of the Midnight Society, I call this the tale of the white powder
Machen: it's about this white powder that turns you into a big blob of goo

Barker: haha oh man i hate when that happens
Barker...

Midnight Pals: Psychic Self-Defense

Dion Fortune: submitted for the approval of the midnight society, i call this the tale of the winged bull
Fortune: its about a woman who falls in with an evil occult society run by this disgusting slug of a man hugo astley
Aleister Crowley: ...

Midnight Pals: Prince Bytor

Stephen King: i'm gonna be over at unicorn fuck club tonight
Clive Barker: yeah me too
Poe: why are you both going to unicorn fuck club tonight?
Barker: why not? it's my prerogative
Poe:

Poe: clive what are you doing?
Bar...

Midnight Pals: Graveyard Smash

Craig Brownlie: Submitted for the approval of the Midnight Society, I call this the tale of the monster friends
Brownlie: it's about a bunch of monsters who get together in order to have some sort of
Brownlie: some sort of
Brownlie: well,...

Midnight Pals: Tears of a Clown

Hailey Piper: submitted for the approval of the midnight society, i call the tale of the clown transformation
Barker: how sexy is this clown tf
Piper: it's not really sexy
Barker:
Barker: could it be sexy?

Barker: is it about mak...

Midnight Pals: Puppygal Sluts

Garrett Cook: Submitted for the approval of the midnight society, i call this the tale of the harem of trans puppygirl werewolf sluts
Barker: yes... ha ha YES!
Barker: there isn't a word in that sentence that i dislike

Cook: so sometim...

Midnight Pals: The Monkey

Stephen King: guys, big news!
King: my story the monkey is being adapted for the big screen!
King: by james wan and Osgood Perkins!
King: they're really in right now!
Barker: yeah you have fun with that

King: this is gonna be rea...

Midnight Pals: So Much for the Tolerant Left

Jesse Singal: mommy mommy i was murdered and no one cares Big 5
Publisher: poor boy! we care, jesse! here, have another publishing contract
Singal: b-but last time my book got remaindered
Publisher: it's ok jesse, we don't mind losing ...

Midnight Pals: The Return

[mysterious circle of robed figures]
JK Rowling: hello children
Rowling: jesssse ssssingal returnsss
Rowling: what newsss, wormtongue?
Rowling: isss it good?
Jesse Singal: mommy mommy don't hit me

Singal: mommy mommy it t...

Midnight Pals: Quality Journalism

Jesse Singal: [crying into the fisher price talky telephone] help police please send help
Singal: the trans were mean to me online!
Singal: and for no reason!
Singal: i'm just a journalist asking questions!
Katherine Huggins: [ears...

Midnight Pals: The Passion of Jesse

[mysterious circle of robed figures]
JK Rowling: hello children
Rowling: what newsss, wormtongue?
Rowling: how goes the infiltration of bluesssky?
Jesse Singal: mommy mommy
Singal: it was SO HARD
Singal: the trans were SO M...

Midnight Pals: Fanfic

Poe: welcome to tonight's meeting of the midnight society
Mary Shelley: sup fuckers?
Poe: you're just in time, mary
Poe: Washington irving was about to tell a story
Shelley:
Shelley: [sweats] oh shit

Washington Irving: [l...

Midnight Pals: Just askin questions

[mysterious circle of robed figures]
JK Rowling: hello children
Rowling: i'm back from my advissory role in the transs genocide
Rowling: Obergruppenführer ssstarmer thought i had sssome real interessting new ideasss
Rowling: well,...

Midnight Pals: Obelisk

Wyle E. Young: submitted for the approval of the midnight society, i call this the tale of the big black obelisk
Lovecraft: [sweats] a big black obelisk???
Young: that's right
Young: made of really weird stone that's so black
Young...

Midnight Pals: Radio Googoo

Stephen King: guys i'm kinda bummed today
King: as you know i own 3 radio stations in the Bangor maine area
Poe:
Barker:
Koontz:
Lovecraft:
King: but unfortunately i have to shut them down

Poe: steve! no!
Stephen King: s...

Midnight Pals: Eyes

Rebecca Rowland: Submitted for the approval of the midnight society, i call this the tale of the optic nerve
Rowland: it's about a scientist who's researching a pill to restore eyesight
Rowland: but he accidentally makes himself psychic 2024-12-03 19:59:14 +0000 UTC View Post

Midnight Pals: HBO

King: guys, did you hear that there's a new harry potter series on HBO?
Barker: steve i could not care less because i am not a child
Barker: i'm an adult and when i want to watch a show about child wizards going to school
Barker: i watch ...

Midnight Pals: D&D

Elon Musk: mama mia
Musk: life, itsa seems so empty
Musk: [touching a framed portrait of Stephen King] since my-a best frienda moved away

Musk: i'm-a so depressed
Musk: grok, what shoulda i do
Grok: [slur]
Musk: mama mia, you ...