Elon Musk: eyyy whatsa matta you Stepheno king
Musk: you no wanta the blue check?
Musk: listen the blue checka it maka you real cool
Stephen King: cool you say?
Musk: oh yeah itta really big deal
King: well
King: I have been want...
Richard Sharpe Shaver: Submitted for the approval of the Midnight Society, I call this the tale of the underground monster people that can control us with mind rays
Stephen King: wow, that sure sounds like an amazing story!
Shaver: yes
Sh...
Poe: guys we're going to have lor gislason tell a story tonight
Poe: and i want you all on good behavior
Poe: i don't want any jokes
Barker: ok no jokes about the slime person ok sure got it
Poe: first of all clive
Poe: yes
Poe: ...
Stephen King: submitted for the approval of the-
Elon Musk [popping out of bushes]: eeeey its me, elon musk!
Musk: i just comma to see my number one bambino Stephano King!
Musk: you an me, we sucha good friends!
K...
L. Marie Wood: Submitted for the approval of the Midnight Society, I call the tale of the book that kills people
Lovecraft: o-oh! i like that
Lovecraft: b-books that kill, that's totally my jam!
Robert W Chambers: whose jam?
Wood: a...
2023-04-17 18:53:44 +0000 UTC View Post[mysterious circle of robed figures]
JK Rowling: hadley freeman, your failuresss disssspleasssse me
Rowling: you promissssed me you would deliver margaret atwood
Rowling: instead, nothing but ashess and wind
Hadley Freeman: p-please...
Agent: ok so listen joanne
Agent: I have some bad news
JK Rowling: issss ssscotland getting uppity??
Rowling: how dare they rebel against the yoke of English rule!!!
Rowling: we will cram transss genocide down their tartan-wearing, hag...
JK Rowling: hello children
Poe: oh joanne
Poe: you're
Poe: you're back
Barker: edgar edgar you sound so tired
Barker: put some feeling into it
Barker: "ha ha joanne!"
Barker: "you're back!"
Barker: you act like this...
Ben Farthing: Submitted for the approval of the midnight society, i call this the tale of the circus tent that i found in the woods behind my house
Barker: hell of a title there, man
Farthing: you think?
Farthing: is it too much?
B...
Mary SanGiovanni: so me and edward lee have been collaborating on some cosmic horror
Clive Barker: are there tits in it
SanGiovanni: "are there tits in it"
SanGiovanni: what a question!
Edward Lee: no bro it's not just about boobs t...
2023-04-11 18:18:49 +0000 UTC View PostAlgernon Blackwood: submitted for the approval of the midnight society, i call this the tale of the willows
Lovecraft: g-guys this is my favorite story!
Lovecraft: ooh it's so good, it's so scary!
King: oh yeah? what's so ...
[at unicorn fuck club]
Terry Pratchett: in discworld, there’s a big controversy about dwarf gender
Tolkien: ah yes dwarves are all dudes
Pratchett: see, that’s the stereotype
Pratchett: but I leverage that to make commentary about-...
Stephen King: submitted for the-
JK Rowling: hello children
Rowling: I’d like to introduce you all to my favorite terf deatheater
Rowling: Kathleen ssssstock
Clive Barker: why
Poe: clive that’s-
Poe: actually yeah why
J...
2023-04-05 20:17:12 +0000 UTC View Post[mysterious circle of robed figures]
JK Rowling: hello children
Rowling: great newssss
Rowling: they’re making a new harry potter ssseriessss on HBO
Rowling: and thissss time
Rowling: thisss time we’ll do it right
Rowling:...
2023-04-04 17:17:17 +0000 UTC View Post[at unicorn fuck club]
Terry Pratchett: I call it the story of the wacky fantasy world that’s funny
Pratchett: I hope you’re all ready for some jolly jokes and japes
Pratchett: but also
Pratchett: if you’re not careful
Pratche...
Lovecraft: S-submitted for the approval of the midnight society, I call this
Lovecraft: the tale of the rats in the walls
King: oo
King: jeez howard
King: that story’s a little dicey ya know?
Lovecraft: what?
King: you know
...
Owl Goingback: Submitted for the approval of the Midnight Society, I call this the tale of the coyote rage
Goingback: cuz despite all his rage
Goingback: he’s still just a coyote in a cage
Goingback: so coyote the trickster
Dean K...
[at unicorn fuck club]
JRR Tolkien: oh brandon
Tolkien: we heard about that wired article
Tolkien: tough break
Brandon Sanderson: well good golly gosh
Sanderson: I just
Sanderson: I just don’t know
Sanderson: I just don...
2023-03-24 18:29:11 +0000 UTC View PostRowling: I mean, who’ssss to know whatsss right or wrong?
Phelps-Roper: wow if you think about it
Phelps-Roper: trans people and people who want to kill trans people are really just equally bad
Rowling: that is libelous and you will hea...
Megan Phelps-Roper: hey you’re listening to the witch trials of jk rowling, W KZFM in the morning with Megan Phelps-Roper and the weasel [air horn sound effect]
Phelps-Roper: we are here with the main boss lady herself, Jk R-r-r-rowling!
R...
JK Rowling: hello children
Poe: ok
Poe: JK
Rowling: you don’t ssssound very thrilled to ssssee me edgar
Poe: well it’s just
Rowling: perhapssss you’ll be more thrilled after you read thissss court order I bought requiring ever...
Aleister Crowley: yo Sonia
Crowley: yep yep it’s just me
Crowley: Aleister “The Great Beast” Crowley
Crowley: the most wicked man in the world
Crowley: mountaineer, bon vivant, man about town
Sonia Greene: I’m not interested...
Ray Bradbury: and so, at that dusty little carnival on that humid summer night
Bradbury: that little boy saw real magic for the first time
Aleister Crowley: c’mon, that’s not what real magic is
Crowley: real magic is when get a woman ...
Ray Bradbury: Submitted for the approval of the midnight Society, I call this the tale of the eternal summer, the last vestiges of muggy august giving way to the bluster of autumn, the twinkling lights of town below in the humid night, young lover...
2023-03-16 17:45:51 +0000 UTC View PostJK Rowling: hello children
Poe: oh
Poe: joanne
Rowling: I’m jussst here to clarify my posssition on transss people
Barker: oh damn wow
Barker: damn wow everyone stop what you’re doing
Barker: joanne’s got something to say a...
[mysterious circle of robed figures]
Jesse Singal: mommy mommy look at me!!
Singal: I’m a real reporter!!!
JK Rowling: you’re doing great jesssse
Singal: I did it for you mommy!
Singal: I did it all for you!!!
Singal: momm...
2023-03-15 07:46:16 +0000 UTC View PostBen Wheatley: Submitted for the approval of the Midnight Society, I call this the tale of the sad hit man
Wheatley: a mind-bending tale of psychological horror with a big twist!
Wheatley: the twist is that its folk horror
Wheatley: for th...
[mysterious circle of robed figures]
JK Rowling: hello children
Rowling: I want to introducccce our newest recruit
Rowling: Aliccce Walker
Alice Walker: “children” is a gender-neutral form of address that will turn people trans...
Roald Dahl: submitted for the approval of the midnight society, I call this the tale of the unexpected
Stephen King: is this an original tale of the unexpected or one of the revised ones? Dahl: ee hee hee what
King: cuz I hear...
2023-03-08 18:20:04 +0000 UTC View PostPatricia Highsmith: Submitted for the approval of the midnight society, I call this the tale of the charming sociopath
Dean Koontz: tell the story about the black terror!
Highsmith: ehhh
Koontz: I like when he hits the bad guys and
Hig...